Empty Nesting

Who knew about these blues???

There is great joy in watching your children develop into great humans, and while I was excited to once again have the freedom, I was in no way prepared for the blues. I offer my experience to begin a dialogue for those who will experience an empty nest, and a space of sharing for those who have already experienced an empty nest.

How do you define success?  I would say I am successful, but sometimes the silence of my apartment tells me otherwise. I am learning to better understand life as a process, rather than a destination.   At a time when most of my friends are just now starting their families, my family is a well-working machine.  But the machine was recently updated. I have two adult children and the youngest two recently joined their dad in New York.  I am alone. 5:00 pm sounds so different these days.

5:00 pm use to be so loud, and I loved it. At 5:00 pm we were all home talking about our day and enjoying supper before dinner.  Yes... I said supper before dinner, it's a family of three active boys and one uber active girl, we burn a lot of calories!  The family needed both a 5 pm supper and 6:30 dinner.  At 5 pm, I excitedly turn the key to enter the house fully ready to recount my productive day, but I am only met with silence. The house is empty. 

I had my first child before I became an adult, so my entire adult life has been based around being a mom.  What does mom do when there is no one there to mother...cry.  My, my, my did I cry; I had to mourn my old lifestyle.  I mourned alone because I felt I had no one to talk to.  I felt like there was no one in my age group that was living a similar life: divorced, has three or more children, living states away from their children, has more than one adult child. I told myself I was the only one and started living a lonely narrative.  At some point I heard my own voice in my head, I heard myself telling my children to talk about their feelings, and I began talking. As I talked to my loved one they helped me with a perspective change.  My family helped me highlight the positive things in my life which helped me shift to a place of gratitude.  Gratitude is a magnet for blessings

Starting a family at an early age definitely came with its challenges, but this also means that I am stepping into this next phase of life at an early age.  I began to use the empty house as an incentive to research and reflect on myself.  The lack of children in the house is my incentive to do all the things I've never done. 

I'm filling the space with experience.  I've learned so much about myself and the world.  I've dared myself to face a fear every day, and I feel like I'm living life in a whole new way.  I hope my story helps someone and would love to hear your stories. This is your blog post. Blogs are a great way to connect with your audience and keep them coming back. They can also be a great way to position yourself as an authority in your field.

#Mommyblog #parenting #emptynesting

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