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Know what you value.
Cherish what you value.
Offer your valuables to those that value them.
"Sweet lies drip from his lips like lemons drops and I sit here sweet tooth and all catching every drop" is what the 19 year old me wrote in her journal. 21 years would pass before I got enough gusto to tell him he was no longer invited in my life. A current me keeps reading that line and asking, can lemons be sweet? I am still not sure that I can say that he is a bad person, but I would say he served a purpose.
KNOW WHAT YOU VALUE
I am clear that he was put in my life to teach me a lesson about self-love and self-preservation. There were many signals along the way and one of the most recent came from Natasha Mayne. Earlier in 2021, Natasha Mayne offered the message: We must learn to reward inconsistency with permanent distance. I can honestly say that I took this message to heart...except with this lemon dropper. When I think of him it crazy because being inconsistent was the only thing he is consistent with. My imagination is how I successfully made it through the isolation of the pandemic. In my many hours alone I imagined I was with those people that made my heart smile. The isolation of the pandemic increased my value of quality time.
CHERISH WHAT YOU VALUE
Isolation gave me clarity about how much I valued quality time and my joy. When I was able to share space with someone, I opted to spend it with those I imagined during my times alone. Joy took precedence and everything else was everything. The idea of doing or being around someone that didn't bring me joy or took me back to a place of hurt/ trauma slowly became a non-negotiable. Notice the use of the term " slowly", life is a process and so is leaving places where I don't feel joy. In the case of the lemon dropper, I realized my lack of joy was due to my value of his joy over mine.
OFFER YOUR VALUABLES TO THOSE THAT VALUE THEM
The truth was I was still turning down life in order to protect his pride and ego, and he couldn't care less. During an interview with Amaniyea Payne, I asked her what golden nuggets or charges did she want to share with the next generation. This wise elder offered many thoughts, but the one about pearls held on to me. Don't give your pearls to swine is what she said, and I felt that in my soul, but kept in the back of my mind. This is not a judgment of the pig, but an observation that some taboos around eating pork are due to the fact that pigs can/will eat just about anything.
Be it scraps or gourmet, swine will neither recognize nor acknowledge the energy, effort, or quality of the offering. The lesson: Be mindful of what you offer and to whom. As my 4oth birthday approached her words traveled to the forefront of my mind and I proclaimed " He's not invited into this next decade of my life". It would be another three months before I told him that I valued my joy too much to share space with him. Life is a process and I want mine to include joy so...
In the words of the wise Amaniyea Payne:
Don’t give your pearls to swine.
✨Know what you value.
✨Cherish what you value.
✨Offer your valuables to those that value them.
Hope you enjoyed this quick read!
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- Mya
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