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At this time, death is still something none us can avoid and all of us will deal with at some point. I offer my stories for those who are and will experience loss.
My father passed on February 6, 2018, and at this point, I am not sure that I am over it rather I feel like I am getting through it. February 14, brings me tears so I am actively working on changing those tears of sadness to tears of joy. Valentine's day is the day I buried my dad, this is was the very thing I feared the most. I am a daddy's girl and lack to the vocabulary to express what he truly means to me. Around 2005, I dreamt my father died, I spent the entire day crying. The idea alone crushed me. On a Friday night in 2018, he entered the hospital and was pronounced dead early Tuesday morning. Surrounded by his sisters, my mother and my sisters I had to be strong because they were in so much pain.
My eyes were dry and I stayed logical as we planned his arrangements, had several meetings, and numerous conversations. I vividly remember a non-relative that caressed his picture and talked about their feelings each time we talked to one another. I stayed logical! Now don't get me wrong I have had my " ugly cry moments", but believe the number of times I cried are based on my focus. In order to get through this loss, I had to focus on my dad's life. I had to focus on my dad's actions and his words. As my dad's words replayed in my head, I realized he'd already planned his funeral. So, at this point, I must tell you my dad was quite the joker. He once said at his funeral he wanted chicken placed on the other side of his casket, because he thought it would prevent people from crying, the smell of delicious food would overtake their sadness. I just laughed it off. My dad's word gave me the information I need to be strong for others. His actions were what helped me be strong for myself.
My father passed while I was in the interview process for my university. I asked if the two-day face to face interview could happen after my father's service and they agreed. I nervously sat in the airport questioning if I could really get this position and how much I needed my dad. Right then someone came over to speak to me, just a simple Hello, but that hello meant so much. On the person's jacket was the logo of the company they worked for. This person was an employee of the vocational program my father helped create. The hello comforted me as if it came from my dad himself. It was in that moment that I truly realized my dad's legacy and how it could help me. While his body no longer exists his impact can still be seen and felt.
To cope with the loss of my father: I look for evidence of his impact. I remember that energy is never created or destroyed it just changes form. I remember to live every day as if it is my last. I remember the importance of the legacy building. I remember to treat people with kindness.
As February 14 approaches, rather than focus on the loss I will focus on life.
I for additional information and ideas please see click the link https://www.scarymommy.com/grief-parent-loss-adults/
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💛Mya
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