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We are the intersection of our experiences and our biological make -up, and so I ask you who are you? The “Stay At Home” order issued in many states created space/ time for many us to reflect. We are blessed with the ability to evaluate our lived experiences and change our current experience at any time, and so I ask you, are you happy? I offer my experiences for those currently reflecting and those who will come to this point.
In my late twenties, I experienced something called “The Return of Saturn” a term introduced to me by Menes Yahudah. It takes about 29.5 years for the planet Saturn to returns to the location it held at your time of birth. This return happens in your late twenties but impacts are felt into the early thirties. For those of blessed with many years, it will happen again in your late fifties, and then again in our late eighties. This experience is a wake-up call for some us to grow up and face reality, and that can be frightening and disarming. The census bureau reports a higher number of divorces amongst this age group, but it is also a time of growth and a second chance. I fell into the category of people reevaluating the lifestyle choices they made in my early twenties, this lead to my separation and subsequently my divorce. During this evaluation and reflection, my godbrother Changa Onyango asked: Who are you and what do you like? Simple questions, but ones that took me several years to uncover. Similar to other women and mothers I know, I’d submerged myself into to being a mother and wife. Mother and Wife are roles that I still take very seriously but I learned that these roles of women and being Mya are just as important as.
Now I’ve been journaling since I was a child… my close friends can share stories of the trouble I’ve faced when these journals fell in the wrong hands, but they’ve helped more often than not.
But this time was different. The page was blank!
Several times I wrote down the questions: Who are you? What do you like?
The page was still blank.
I experimented a little trying out things I thought I liked and I thought made me happy, only to find those things were just a means of staying connected to relationships/people I thought I left long ago. I am thankful for those experiments because there is success in failure. I successfully found out what didn’t make me happy. While those experiences are apart of who I am, I had to dig deeper for my happiness. I closed my eyes and journeyed back to that less than ten-year-old little girl in East Baltimore to remember the things that made her spirit smile. Now, these experiments were way more successful. In journeying back to my younger self I rekindled a connection with myself. I found that while my taste may have matured a little most of the things that made me happy then still make me happy now: dresses, dance, tasty food and time with my loved one. I found the deeper meanings behind my name helping me to better understand my purpose in this world. I also found that touch is my love language.
We are blessed with the ability to evaluate our lived experiences and change our current experience at any time, and so I ask you are you happy? We are the intersection of our experiences and our biological make -up, and so I ask you who are you? As always I encourage you to be the best version of you, you can be.
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And as always Be-You-t-Full
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💛Mya
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