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Trust is a part of love.
Trust they know best.
Be a helper, not an inhibitor.
The room was dark and not because we'd turned the lights off but because the gas and electric company had cut the service.
Me: So what's the plan
Them: What do you mean, this is your fault
Me: How...when did your bill become my responsibility.
It’s easy to pull out our super (s)hero cape & take on the challenges of others...but is it necessary or productive?
Disgusted Annoyed and Exhausted are great adjectives to describe my feeling when dealing with this loved one. Annoyed that they can't handle this alone, exhausted because it seems like I'm always doing this, and disgusted with myself because to a certain degree this is my fault. I successfully became an enabler.
It’s easy to pull out our super (s)hero cape & take on the challenges of others...but is it necessary or productive?
Phones off, lights off, no money for food; I "helped "fix it.
You have to be there when you care...right?
In my mind showing up and "helping out" was a demonstration of my love. But I was actually demonstrating a lack of trust. I did not trust them to figure things out for themselves in part because I never allowed them to demonstrate they could do it nor did I offer them instruction/information for how to do it by themself. I felt it was my duty and responsibility to take care of my loved ones. The crazy thing is there were times that they didn't want my assistance and I felt rejected. I felt I needed to solve their financial problem to demonstrate my love.
I forgot that trust is an essential part of love. I forgot about the pride and joy I felt when I indepently completed a task, and therefore had robbed them of the same joy. Now I admit there was a certain level of financial literacy that was absent from my upbringing and as a result, my peer group is playing catch up, but this is still no excuse for my behavior. I acted from that was absent of love grounded in trust.
It’s easy to pull out our super (s)hero cape & take on the challenges of others...but is it necessary or productive?
Do people actually need you to solve their problems or have you signed up for this job?
Love is certainly a verb, and help can be one of the actions of the verb but let’s mindful of not being an enabler. We only have 100% the more we take on the less quality we can offer. Trust that they know what is the best for them. In the words of the wise @contactcjoy: Trust people to solve their own problems.
✨Trust is a part of love.
✨Trust they know best.
✨Be a helper, not an enabler
👩🏾💻Hope you enjoyed this quick read, remember to: like, share, and subscribe
-Mya
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