Reach

You completely control your actions.

You completely control your reactions.

Act in spaces where you are appreciated and those acts are reciprocated.

I wiggled my toes over and over again, but for some reason it wouldn't work, I still couldn't feel the ground

Years ago, I'd read somewhere that wiggling your toes could send some type of feed back through your body helping to ground you by bringing you into the present moment...but it didn't work. I felt like one of those mylar helium balloons you see floating in the air. Not only did my body feel suspended, but my heart feel like it was floating in the center of my chest. I am not quite sure you can measure the space between two hearts; and because of this experience, I better understood the saying " home is where the heart is. My physical body was in Indiana, my heart(my loved ones) was still in Maryland, and my mind floated between the two.

✨You completely control your actions.

There were many actions that lead me to this point of suspension and I can take complete ownership for mine... the good and the bad ones. Looking back, I would classify that version of myself as a tainted hopeless romantic. Blinded by my own pain, I frantically reached out for what could only come from within...peace. In the absence of piece I found/created a tumultrous romantic relationship. The relationship was strained before I left Maryland, but our last few discussions left me thinking that he would be coming to meet me. Our combined actions created a long-distance relationship of both body and heart. The feeling of suspension wouldn't go away, and wiggling my toes only worked long enough for me to present for the void in my heart. There is a reason why the saying "Peace and Love" fits so well together and so I found myself asking do you love yourself?

✨You completely control your reactions

My heart wanted peace, the kind of peace that allowed you to get a full night's sleep. But rather than sleep, I found myself both tired and restless. Nestled in his arms at night I slept well but it lacked balance. I suffered from a type of mental fatigue due the stretching my mind to reach a conclusion that would get him here so I could sleep. My reaction to the sleepless night included nightly glasses of red wine and morning headaches. I'd sacrificed my credit score some years ago to afford him the trinkets that he wanted and as my fatigued mind continue to search out employment opportunities for him my heart asked...did you feel loved? I didn't! I found myself praying for texts and begging for phone calls. As the months passed and his arrival continued to get delayed it became clear the for whatever reason he was not reaching for me . In the most innocently unloving way, I had tied my peace to a human and that was something I needed to change. Life happens because of me not to

✨Act in spaces where you are appreciated and those acts are reciprocated.

Years ago I decided to take an active role in my life and I successfully did it for while. I became a parent before I became an adult and spent a great deal of my time focusing on parenting that I forgot to focus on myself. When you are parenting you don't always feel appreciated and I feel like it when the children become adults that they intentionally attempt to reciprocate the love you offered. I offer my parenting experience here to explain why it took me some time to recognize the imbalance in my romantic relationship. He and I went through several degrees of separation and with each, I decided to reach deeper into myself. While I don't feel that I have this completely figured out, I can now feel the ground beneath my toes and my heart feels secure in my chest.

In the words of the wise@reclaiminghopellc: Make sure you’re reaching for someone that is reaching back for you.

Do you Love yourself?

Do you feel that you are loved?

If you answered yes to at least one of those questions, It’s a good time do be done with self-sacrificing, self-deprecating actions that fail to demonstrate your self-love & your understanding that you deserve love. There will be times where your giving can not be honored in that moment, but when you notice a pattern it a good time to change your actions.

✨You completely control your actions.

✨You completely control your reactions

✨Act in spaces were you are appreciated and those acts are reciprocated.

Hope you enjoyed this quick read!

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- Mya