Not Every Superhero Wears a Cape

When the burden becomes too heavy for the strong ones, where do they go? Who do they run to? 

 At different times this woman has been my rock and provided an unwavering love for some of my most precious gifts(the children)  While the path has not always been easy or glamorous, she has been consistently focused on making sure our next generation has the tools and experiences they need to be great humans. This strong woman has carried/taken on more than can I ever write about in this one post, so I leave you with the statement "not every superhero wears a cape" A few weeks ago Mia( Aya's godmother and one of my best friends) asked that I write about the strong friend.  Many of us are blessed to have that strong friend that we can undoubtedly go to ask for advice, funds or just to offload all of our stress, but who do they turn to? I offer this post to a "strong friend" and the friend of the "strong friend". 

Check on your strong friend

Mia seemed particularly moved by this subject so we did a pseudo interview. Mia described this person as the selfless empathetic friend that all the other friends assume has their life together, so they neglect to check in on the strong friend. Mia mentioned a time she struggled and felt like no one checked on her; I felt like a failure.  I'd failed to reciprocate my presence and felt horrible because I couldn't even put my finger on when this time might have been. Her comment brought me pain inspired by my own neglect and pain of remembrance.  I began to think about my own challenging experiences and that lonesome feeling when no one checked on me. I now question if there any healthy relationships that are steeped in Selflessness Empathy and Assumptions? How did I manage to let my friend down? Why didn't my friends check on me and why didn't I ask for help.  While I have no immediate answer to these questions I have come to these resolutions:

1. Some of us take turns being a strong friend and using a strong friend. 

2. There is no need to continue to pour our essence into a situation that can/will never give back, so a conscious decision has to be made before there is nothing left to pour. 

3. Balance is everything. 

Self-love takes strength

Let's take this time to introduce the terms Self-love and Appreciation into our explanation of the strong friend.  Self-love, an extension of strength that includes healthy boundaries and vulnerability. Appreciation, conscious actions one takes to show the strong friend how much their presence means to you. 

Be strong enough to ask for help

To the strong friend: Let's change the narrative to include loving ourselves so strongly that we ask for help when needed and say to no to experiences that consistently drain us.

To the friend of the strong friend:  Let's make a commitment to checking in our strong friends and showing them they are appreciated.

A healthy balanced friendship requires a formula of vulnerability honesty and transparency.  It's through a successful formula we can be strong enough to show our vulnerability and let our friends know we need help. It's through a balanced formula we increase empathy and decrease assumptions.

In the words of the wise Dr. Kokava Selasie: You gotta have a long memory because you signing a long song.

✨Check on your strong friend.

✨Be strong enough to ask for help.

✨ Self-love takes strength

Hope you enjoyed this quick read!

👩🏾‍💻 Share your thoughts below.

👆🏾Click the 3 dots at the top to share and

💛 Remember to like and subscribe

- Mya

#strongfriend #selflove #superhero #appreciation

Hope you enjoyed this quick read. Remember to like, subscribe and share

💛Mya