Choose, Create and Take Action

They say it takes a village to raise a child and I feel blessed to be raised in a village that included so many amazingly inspirational Mamas. My village included many dancers and educators, so naturally, I went to college for dance and education.  During my undergraduate studies, a professor asked the class to name our favorite teacher and my answer was simple: Theresa Dixon and Kibibi Ajanku.  These Mamas are my protectors, my cheerleaders, and my favorite teachers.  In their own ways, they taught me that the limits I created where the only ones that existed.

My Mama

Theresa Dixon, my biological mother governed the house with a hard hand. In my heart of hearts, I still believe she can bend iron with her bare hands.  To many (including my younger self) she seemed super strict, but hindsight being 20/20 I see that she was merely setting healthy parameters. Hindsight being 20/20, I realize she never really told me “No”.  I remember the first and only time my mother told me no, I was around 16 and it completely caught me off guard. Now don't get me wrong, because as I said, my mother ran a very disciplined house, but she was also cautious not to be a spirit damager. Rather than saying a definite No she would say "not this time" or "maybe later".  This lack of a definite No fostered a space of infinite possibilities.  This upbringing allowed me to believe anything I wanted was possible with a good plan. This method parenting fostered ideas of creation and choice.  I could choose to accept my mother's soft No, or create a more appealing plan that would lead to obtaining my desire. Through her actions, my mommy taught me that with a good plan, I could achieve anything I wanted.  This idea of infinite possibilities is deeply embedded in both my andragogy and pedagogy as an educator and parenting philosophy.

My Iya

Kibibi Ajanku, my Iya, taught me that we are free to change the narrative.  Through her stories, I learned my complexion and situations were only a part of my experience, not the sum total.  The stories she shared would become pivotal points of reference in my late teens and early twenties.  I gave birth to my daughter during my senior year of High School, and Iya’s stories of things she did while she was pregnant and accomplished as a young mother gave me hope. There are some not so nice narratives of what it looks like to have a black blended family of six while under the age of 30, but Iya helped me to understand that those narratives didn’t have to be mine. Some people are shocked when I tell them at age 16, I studied with one of the National Ballets of Senegal.  The shock stems from varying levels of ignorance about West African Dance techniques that will be addressed in another post, but what I will say is Iya made sure that we (the company) carried ourselves in a way that required no less than respect.  The combination of her stories, family pictures, and her actions helped me create a structure for my family and navigate the professional world as a strong woman of color. 

Susan T. King, Grandma Susan, the epitome of grace under fire. How could I not mention this woman, she is the bar, her life story reminds me that women have the power to both support and make a change.  When I hear her stories, I am reminded of my charge to take care of me so that I am strong enough to pave the way for the young women following me.

Just in case someone damaged your spirit, I offer you this: You can have whatever you want... choose what it is, create a plan, and take action towards the plan.

Ask yourself the following and feel free to add your response to the comments:

What are would you do if money wasn't an issue?

What makes your heart sing?

Are you doing what you want?

It's a new a day, and a new decade, and you can always make that change today! 

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💛Mya