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The snake bite hurt like hell...to say it caught me of gaurd is an understatement. Honestly, I saw it's mouth open but when it struck I couldn't move. I was frozen. I guess I let my arrogance fool me, thinking it wouldn't strike at me because it had seen me before. Ha... just read that sentence and my rationale sounds absoulutely stupid.The recovery was painful and the medicine was horrible but today I am wiser. I accept that this bite was my fault for expecting a snake to be anything other than a snake.
Ok, moment of clarity/ transperancy, the snake is a metaphor. The snake was person, who I believed wouldn't treat me the same way they treated other people. There is a saying " when someone shows their true face believe them the first time". I failed to learn my lesson, so the universe offered it again. For whatever reason, I failed to acknowledge the level of toxicity in this relationship with a loved one. I knew they were a liar, but for whatever reason I beleived they wouldn' t lie on me.
In true liar fashion, the story they wove made them look like a wonderful supportive person and me the total opposite. I tried my darndest to act normal for the rest of the day, but I was uncomfortable with the situation and myself. I knew they lied, but for whatever reason I was still being loyal to them. There was a part of me that didn't want to admit that I was wrong. There was a part of me that didn't want to admit that this relationship was over.
I consider time to be one of the most valuable thing in our lives, because it is the thing you can never get back...maybe that's why I stayed. I'd poured decades into this platonic relationship, and I thought that would be enough to buy/earn honesty from this person. I was mistaken. At first it was hard to imagine my life with out this person, but then I remembered how uncomfortable I was. Healthy love has a foundation of trust, and could never trust this person. I pride myself on the relationships I have with my friends, and have always feared lossing one due to cirucmstance but this experience forced me to choose loving myself. Letting go of this friendship meant a step towards a happy healthier life because it wouldn't include their lies or worrying about thier lies.
So here's what I offer you: when you’re back is pushed up against the wall, and you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place it's a good time do the thing you fear the most. Once you face that fear you are no longer it’s captive. You are that much closer to being fearless and free.
✨Discomfort encourages growth
✨Let the fear free you
✨2020 brought, various challenges that has each of us in situations we might never imagined...
✨use the discomfort of these unprecedented times to face your fears and grow/ take a step to a better life.
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💛Mya
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